A Small Observation of Japanese Society! Japanese Men and Women
In addition to heavy school work, the Japanese culture of "men" and "women" is also quite special, and this article will share my experience of the differences between "men" and "women" in Japan.
Open Talk in the Men's Locker Room
Most of the students at TUT use the school gym because it is not only free of charge and has a wide range of equipment, but also because Japanese people generally do not exercise as often, which results in the gym not being highly utilized.
After every workout, I would go to the side bathroom to take a shower-it sounded normal. However, when I started to enter the men's locker room, I was shocked by how "naked" I was. All of the Japanese boys were not only muscular, but also naked with fans blowing on them, completely oblivious to the embarrassment. Whether they wanted to show off their muscles, or simply felt that "it was still too hot to get dressed" after their showers, they chatted in the nude, exchanged fitness tips, and even discussed the progress of their lab research.
I wasn't used to it at first, and I always thought, "I should at least put on my panties first," so I would go into the bathroom and quickly put on my panties and pants before coming out. I didn't realize that this would look strange to my Japanese classmates, and they looked at me with puzzlement.
Once in a casual conversation in a research laboratory, I voiced out my problem.
"Why is it that Japanese people don't rush to put on their underwear after taking a bath, but rather tan their important parts over there?" I asked.
"Doubt? Isn't that normal?" Mr. Murata thought I was strange.
"Shouldn't you always wear your own clothes, or at least your underwear, before you come out? Aren't you shy?" I asked.
"No, it's normal for people to look at each other, I know the sizes of my former friends," Mr. Murata said with a smile.
"What a strange topic hahahahaha," Wada-san laughed from the sidelines.
"Are you serious? My friends will watch it?" I can see that the girls are gradually walking away.
"It's just like going to the hot springs without clothes, and it's so hot after the bath that I don't want to wear them," Mr. Murata explained.
"Most people in Taiwan have to wear a bathing suit and swim trunks, unless they want to look at other people for pranks," I said about the Taiwanese custom.
"Is it like that in Taiwan? But of course good friends will look at each other, good friends! You'll get a chance to see yours," Mr. Murata gave me a strange look. (The girls were laughing loudly from behind...)
"Oh no, it's embarrassing if it's not big enough, shouldn't I look up how to make the 207th bone bigger?" I thought to myself.
The Emotional Experience of the Research Laboratory Revealed
One day, I was chatting with some seniors in my research lab, and the topic of conversation somehow came up to "relationship experience".
"I don't have a girlfriend right now, but I've had many in the past!" Nagata said proudly.
"I'm also one of many, but I'm just busy with my research, so I don't have any at the moment," Mr. Murata continued. Mr. Murata continued.
"I don't have one right now either ......," Morita-senpai whispered shyly at the end.
"What about you, Zero?" Suddenly everyone turned their heads to face me.
"I haven't had a girlfriend in 21 years ......," I had to answer honestly.
"Are you serious? You're really a "child".1?" Mr. Murata was shocked.
When I finished speaking, all the students were shocked, and they didn't even believe me for a while. Some of them even said "OOXX" in English and added actions, as if they wanted to confirm whether I was really a "virgin" or not.
"It's true, what's so strange about it? Many of my polytechnic friends don't have girlfriends either." I froze, I didn't expect such a big reaction.
"Really? That's too much! Taiwanese boys are so tolerant!" The seniors laughed and laughed while saying with a little bit of mockery.
I really couldn't understand it at the time because there are quite a few guys in Taiwan's engineering colleges who haven't had girlfriends, and I didn't think it was a big deal. Later on, I heard some explanations from my seniors.Japanese LiteratureI realized that a lot of people would have had the experience when they were about high school students, and the most normal age would be around 19~20 years old. (However, in recent years there has been a trend of under-ageing in Taiwan as well.)
Therefore, Japanese guys seem to regard "previous dating and sexual experience" as an indicator of "charisma" or "social value": having a lot of dating experience means that you have the ability to attract girls; if you have never had a girlfriend, you are easily recognized as a "very useless guy". Some Japanese students even "pretend" to have a lot of dating experience to avoid being stigmatized. This also shows a certain level of social pressure among young Japanese.
Background Supplement
Talking about sex in Japan is more straightforward than one might think. Although Japanese society is sometimes traditional and conservative, young people share sexual experiences as a topic of conversation, even as part of a display of "mature charisma". In contrast, in Taiwan's peer environment, this kind of conversation may lead to snickering, but it doesn't necessarily mean that people who don't have experience in relationships are "unattractive".
For me when I first arrived in Japan, I felt a lot of emotions at first, because I was surprised and laughed at what I got for "being a virgin", and it made me want to make up a story about "having been in a relationship" next time, so I could at least avoid being labeled as "unattractive".
Male/Female: Tingjou Sekibai vs. Kakaia World
People often have the impression that Japan has "machismo" (Japanese: 亭主関白), which means that men dominate everything in the family and girls have to be obedient; in traditional times, there was even a saying that "wives have to keep a distance of three steps from their husbands when they walk". In fact, there exists another term in Japan called "Big Womanism" (Japanese: カカア 天下), which means that women are the real masters of the house, and boys just have to be obedient. These two concepts can be considered as two extremes, and they also reflect the diversity of family patterns in Japanese society.
In my own research lab, many of the girls would take care of all the chores: planning the drinks party, preparing the meal, taking out the garbage, etc. In fact, to a certain extent, we can see the shadow of "machismo". Because guys are usually not actively involved in sharing the chores, girls are used to taking care of everything on their own initiative.
Once, when a senior saw that she was injured, she took out her OK bungee and put it on her body; another time, when I wanted to help take out the garbage, the sisters in the same group were shocked and kept thanking me, "Really? I was surprised that a boy was willing to take out the garbage! I didn't know how to respond to this. On the one hand, I felt that they were too polite to me, but on the other hand, I also sighed that there were not so many "warm-hearted men" in real life as there are often in Japanese dramas. Of course, it's also possible that the atmosphere in our lab is already very nice, so maybe the thoughtfulness is just a way for us to take care of each other so that we can all have a good time in the lab.
In Japan, the traditional concept of "men dominating the outside world and women dominating the inside world" used to be favored, but in recent years, with the development of society and the increase in women's employment rate, the concept of equal rights for husband and wife has become more popular. However, the division of household chores or views on gender roles are still strongly influenced by long-standing traditions, and therefore a strong sense of male chauvinism can still be seen in certain areas (e.g., certain polytechnic institutes or older-generation families).
Relatively speaking, the younger generation in Taiwan is less concerned about the division of household chores or taking care of each other, especially in friendships or among classmates, so when I offered to help take out the garbage, my classmates were pleasantly surprised by "this kind of behavior".
Trivia
My life in Japan was full of everyday details that were very different from what I had previously known. Whether it was the explicit nudity in the men's locker room, the shocked exclamations of "virginity" in the research labs, or the observations of machismo and macho feminism, I was deeply impressed by the power of cultural differences.
Sometimes, what we see in Japanese anime or Japanese dramas is not exactly the same as real life; after actually spending time with Japanese people, we realize that their openness to their bodies may deeply subvert your "shyness", and the importance they place on their emotional experiences is not necessarily summed up by the words "conservative" or "open".
However, it was the impact and novelty that made me more willing to step out of my comfort zone and think seriously about how "what I recognize as common sense may in fact be alien in another culture", and at the same time cherish the friendliness and tolerance of the local people. With the passage of time, I gradually learned to face these "amazing" moments with a more open and understanding attitude.
Annotation Area
- Childhood (どうてい)：It refers to the state in which a man has never had sexual experience. Simply put, it means a man who has not had sex yet. If the target is a woman, the term "virginity" is used. ︎
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