Laboratory Life (6): BBQ under the Cherry Blossom Tree - Dining Etiquette, Chopsticks and Drinking to Meet Friends

This article is part of theCh3: Life in a Research Laboratory"Part 6 of the series

Academics and Socialization

• ①Welcome to the New Student Training and Research Laboratory
• ②Classroom, Zoom, and Club Presentation 

Leisure & Entertainment

• ③Fuji-Q Highland Day Trip
• ④Tamagawa Hanabi Dai
• ⑤Fukuoka Driving Tour

Social Culture

• ⑥ BBQ Party under the Cherry Blossom Tree ← Current location
• (7) Architecture Department Basketball Tournament Incident
• (8) Rituals of the New Year's Eve Party and Drinking Party

Highlights of this article

• The Social Meaning and Importance of the Japanese Drinking Culture
• A Complete Guide to Japanese Dining Etiquette (Chopsticks Taboo, Taiwan-Japan Differences)
• The Real Experience and Social Strategies of BBQ Party under the Cherry Blossom Tree
• "Cultural Observations on "Meeting Friends with Wine" and "Strengthening Courage through Wine
• The Importance of Japanese Communication in Social Networking (English vs Japanese)
• Social Skills for the Seat Replacement
• Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

Guided Reading and Reading Suggestions

This post is about my experience at the BBQ under the cherry blossom tree at TUT. If you are going to study or work in Japan, this article will help you:

✅ Understanding the culture of Japanese Sake（Why do Japanese people need alcohol to socialize?)
✅ Mastering Japanese Dining Etiquette(Chopsticks Taboo, Chewing with Mouth Closed, Tae-il Differences)
✅ Learn Social Strategies（"To meet friends with wine, to strengthen courage through wine".)
✅ Recognizing the importance of Japanese in social situations（"The Bridge of Minds)
✅ Avoiding Common Mistakes(Don't help others with food, don't use chopsticks to stab food)

It is recommended to read the Quick Checklist first, then read the cultural background, and finally refer to the FAQ for answers to frequently asked questions.

Quick Checklist (must read before attending a Japanese party)

• 📋 Pre-departure mental preparation 
  • Understanding Japanese drinking culture (not just drinking, but also social occasions)
  •  Learning basic dining etiquette (chopsticks taboo, chewing with mouth closed)
  •  Preparing for Self-Introduction (Japanese version)
  •  Acknowledge your alcohol tolerance (you can skip a drink, but politely decline)
  •  Prepare business card or LINE ID (for easy exchange of contacts)
• 📋 Notes for the day of the party
  •  Arrive 5-10 minutes early (punctuality is important)
  •  Active greeting (よろしくお願いします)
  •  Observe how other people eat (especially chopstick use)
  •  Don't just talk to people you know (initiate conversations with strangers)
  •  Timely "seat replacement" (change positions to increase communication opportunities)
  •  Don't drink excessively (stay sober and make a good impression)
• 📋 Dining Etiquette Review
  •  Chopsticks not inserted in the rice (立て箸，佛筷)
  •  Pointing to people or objects without chopsticks (指し箸，指筷子)
  •  Passing food to others without chopsticks (箸渡し, chopsticks pass chopsticks)
  •  Chewing with mouth closed (no sound)
  •  Pick up your bowl and eat (don't put it on the table)
  •  Don't help others with their food (Japanese cultural taboo)
  •  Keep your elbows off the table (maintain good posture)
• 📋 After the meeting
  •  Volunteer to help clean up (show teamwork)
  •  Exchanging contact information with new friends
  •  Send a message of thanks the next day ("Yesterday was a day of thanks").
  •  Organize business cards or contact information (networking)

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In-depth analysis of Japanese drinking culture

🍶 Why do Japanese people need 'alcohol' to socialize?

In Japan.Cocktail party（A common form of socializing is the "drinking club" (みかい). The main reason is that many Japanese people are shy and don't always express their true feelings, so they need alcohol as a truth-teller to help them let go of their inhibitions and communicate with each other.

🍺Cultural background of Japanese drinking societies

The following is the cultural background of the Japanese Sake Festival:

Cultural Characteristics	Description
Bon-Yin and Chien-Chien Chien	In public, Japanese people will show "Kenzen" (superficial speech), but after drinking, they will say "Honin" (sincere speech).
Class Break	Drinks can temporarily break down relationships and improve communication.
Team Cohesion	Enhance team spirit and sense of belonging through alcohol consumption.
Intelligence Exchange	Easier to exchange information and ideas in informal settings
Interpersonal Establishment	Cocktail parties are a great place to network.

🤔 What are the "honky tonks" and "build-aheads"?

This is a key concept in understanding Japanese culture:

conceptual	Japanese Pronunciation	significance	Usage Scenarios
before the establishment of sth.	Tatemae	Superficiality, superficiality, and official statements.	Formal occasions, work occasions, first-time meetings
native speaker (esp. in Chinese grammar)	Homunculus	True thoughts, heartfelt words	Private occasions, cocktail parties, intimate friends

Here is an example to illustrate:

Scene: A supervisor asks a subordinate, "Is it okay to work overtime?"

Pre-construction (surface talk)"Haha, a great man!" (Okay, no problem!)
Bento (real idea): "I would like to return home, but..."

Functions of a drinking party: To allow Japanese people to speak their "native language" in a relaxed atmosphere and to build real human relationships.

🇹🇼 vs 🇯🇵 Difference in Drinking Cultures between Taiwan and Japan (based on personal experience)

Project	Japanese Drinking Club	Taiwan Potluck
goal	Socializing, speaking from the heart, building relationships	Eating, chatting and bonding
Alcohol Role	Core (almost mandatory)	Optional (drinkable or not)
Seating Arrangement	There is a hierarchical order (superior, inferior)	More casual
Toast Culture	Very important (requires an active toast)	More casual
Conversation	Work, Research, Life Planning	Lighter, Gossip, Entertainment, Life
End Time	Usually later (22:00-24:00)	More flexible
Second Meeting	Common (1st meeting → 2nd meeting → 3rd meeting)	Less common

💡 Highlights: In Japan, a drinking party is more than just a "drink"; it's a "socializing tool". Even if you don't drink, attending a party is an important way to build relationships.

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🍽️ The Complete Guide to Japanese Dining Etiquette

Common Errors

Taiwanese people are most likely to make the following mistakes when dining in Japan. These mistakes may be common in Taiwan, but they are considered rude in Japan:

Error 1: Chewing with mouth open (×) → Chewing with mouth closed (○)

Taiwan Habits: Many Taiwanese are accustomed to chewing with their mouths open, making a "popping, popping" sound.
Japanese EtiquetteYou must chew with your mouth shut and eat quietly.

Why do Japanese people chew with their mouths shut?

rationale	Description
Eating Problems	When you open your mouth to eat, the people on the other side of the table can easily see the food in your mouth and you will be regarded as a bad-looking person.
Noise problem	When eating with mouth open, it is easy to make chewing noises, which makes people around you or neighbors feel noisy

💡 be an exception: When you eat ramen, you can make a "sucking" sound, which is a sign of good taste. However, you still need to keep your mouth closed while chewing.

Error 2: Helping others with food (×) → Not helping others with food (○)

Taiwan Habits: When family or friends get together, will kindly help others to share the food.
Japanese EtiquetteDon't do that!

Why can't Japanese people help others with their food?

rationale	Description
Health Considerations	Using your own chopsticks to give food to others will make them feel unhygienic.
Personal space	Japanese people value their personal space and don't like people interfering with their choices.
serving chopsticks culture	In Japan, there is a culture of serving chopsticks (取り箸, とりばし), which are used to serve communal dishes.

💡 Proper Practice: If you want to share food, say "This is delicious. Let the other person pick it up.

remind you again

The following two points, I feel the need to remind the place, perhaps everyone's family name is different, there will be different eating habits, but the following two points need to pay attention to.

Reminder 1: Elbows on the table (×) → Elbows off the table (○)

Taiwan Habits: Your elbows may naturally rest on the table when you eat.
Japanese Etiquette: Elbows should not be resting on the table when eating.

Why can't Japanese people elbow their way to the top of the table?

rationale	Description
Health Considerations	Elbows on the table can lead to stooping, which puts pressure on the stomach and hinders digestion.
Liturgical Considerations	For Japanese, such behavior shows that you are not interested in or do not want to face the food, the person preparing it, or the people at your table.

Reminder 2: Bowls are put on the table for eating (×) → Rice bowls must be picked up (○)

Taiwan Habits: Many Taiwanese are used to putting their bowls on the table and eating with their heads down.
Japanese EtiquetteRice and soup bowls must be picked up and eaten.

Why do Japanese people pick up their bowls and eat?

rationale	Description
Liturgical Traditions	It is traditional Japanese etiquette to pick up the bowl and eat, showing respect for the food.
Eat beautifully	Eating with your head down makes you look bad.
The dog food law	In Japan, there is a saying "Inuyasha" (いぬぐい), which describes putting the bowl on the table and eating with the head down like a dog.

💡 take note of: Large plates (e.g. curry rice, fixed entrees) do not need to be picked up; only small bowls (rice bowls, soup bowls) need to be picked up.

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Japanese Chopsticks Etiquette

In Japan, the etiquette of using chopsticks is very strict. The following is an introduction 17 Taboo ChopsticksThe division is:

• Taboos shared by Taiwan and Japan(8 types): Taiwan and Japan should be avoided.
• Japan-specific taboos(9 types): Special to be avoided in Japan

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🥢 Taiwanese-Japanese Taboos (8 types)

These chopsticks are considered impolite in both Taiwan and Japan:

🇯🇵 Japanese Taboos (9 types)

These chopsticks are particularly important to avoid in Japan and are closely related to Japanese culture and customs:

📊 Complete comparison table of forbidden chopsticks

Chopsticks	Japanese (language)	behavior	Taiwan-Japan Common	Japan-specific	Severity
chopsticks	Literature	Chopsticks in rice	✅	–	⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
chopsticks	箸渡し	Chopsticks spreading food	–	✅	⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
pick up chopsticks	Enchanted Art	Chopsticks wandering	✅	–	⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
chopsticks	Art	Chopsticks to stir the dish	✅	–	⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
chopsticks	Fingerprints	chopsticks pointing at people	✅	–	⭐⭐⭐⭐
chopsticks in tears	The art of art.	Soup Drops	✅	–	⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
chopsticks	Kikki Art	Chopsticks on Cutlery	✅	–	⭐⭐⭐⭐
lick the chopsticks	Licking Art	Lick the chopsticks.	✅	–	⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
bite the chopsticks	Art	bite the chopsticks	✅	–	⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
chopsticks	Chigiri Art	Cutting food with both hands	–	✅	⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
chopsticks	Stabilizing Art	Chopsticks stabbing food	–	✅	⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
serving chopsticks	WATSHI	Chopsticks on the bowl.	–	✅	⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
chopsticks	Sessions	Chopsticks Pulling Plate	–	✅	⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
serving chopsticks	Chibashi	serve the same hand with chopsticks (idiom); to join hands and chopsticks	–	✅	⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
serve chopsticks	Subjected to chopsticks	Chopsticks to catch the soup	–	✅	⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
chopsticks	Seseri Art	pick one's teeth with chopsticks	–	✅	⭐⭐⭐⭐
chopsticks inverted	Counterstrategy	Use your chopsticks the other way around.	–	✅	⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

💡 Memory Tips::

• Most SeriousChopsticks: Buddha's Chopsticks, Chopsticks to Chopsticks (associated with death)
• It's serious.Knocking on the chopsticks, pointing at the chopsticks, picking the teeth of the chopsticks (in an uneducated manner).
• More serious: Probing, slicing, stabbing, pulling and reversing chopsticks (incorrect usage).
• light: Pick the chopsticks, tear the chopsticks, bite the chopsticks, serve the chopsticks, serve the chopsticks with the same hand, catch the chopsticks (indecent).

💡 Chopsticks Etiquette Summary

As mentioned above, there are interesting differences in etiquette between Japan and Taiwan, which are also in the chopstick culture circle. Many Japanese people observe the way they eat and their manners when they first meet each other, so when you go out with Japanese people, pay attention to the above points and you will have a better chance of making friends.

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BBQ under the Cherry Blossom Tree

Students in the Suzukake-dai (Suzuka-dai) campus of Tohoku University (formerly TUT) often hold BBQs, especially in the spring and fall when new students enter the campus. At these BBQs, I learned a lot about Japanese dining culture and realized the charm of "meeting friends over sake".

📖 Story 1: Being corrected by a senior on how to use chopsticks

I'm using chopsticks to slice up the roasted meat to put on a plate for everyone to take.

Mr. Yamada (approaching)"Zero-kun, wait."

Me (doubtful)"What's wrong?"

Mr. Yamada (polite but serious)"In Japan, it's impolite to share meat with a chopstick in each hand."

Me."Huh? Why?"

Mr. Yamada"Because you're using chopsticks to cut up the food, it's called "chigiri-shibashi" (chopsticks cutting) in Japan, and it's a taboo."

Me (in a moment of realization): "I see! What should we do?"

Mr. Yamada: "You should use chopsticks to pick up the meat and then use another pair of chopsticks to tear it apart, or just cut it with kitchen scissors."

After that, Mr. Yamada shared with me a lot of etiquette and rules for using chopsticks. At that moment I realized thatThere's so much to learn about chopsticks.!

My feelings::

"Although it was a little awkward at first, I learned a lot from Mr. Yamada's reminder. He didn't say it in a scolding tone, but shared it with me in a way that made me feel warm and fuzzy. It also helped me to pay more attention to Japanese dining etiquette and to avoid making the same mistake again."

📖 Story 2: Echoes of the First Japanese Report

I continued to stand by the grill, preparing skewers for the seniors. A student I don't know comes over to talk to me.

Strange senior (enthusiastic)"Zero, right?"

Me."Yes, hello."

Strange senior (excited): "Your report was superb! I'm very impressed with you! Isn't Taiwan so beautiful? How long have you been in Japan?"

Me (confused)"Report? You mean... ah!"

I snapped back to the classroom report.

(Into Memory: Japanese report from a building dynamics class)

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In my building dynamics class, the teacher asked us to share our research. Since I was a senior in college and did not have a thesis, the teacher asked me to introduce my country and school.

Teacher (considerate)"In English or Japanese."

Considering that my Japanese is not good enough, I hesitated for a while, but decided to Introducing Taiwan in Japaneseso that people can really listen to it.

My preparation process (using three days of vacation)::

• Flipping through grammar books, searching for the best words.
• Make a slide show and ask the seniors to help me edit it.
• Practice with the projector in the lab.

On the day of the presentation, I was so nervous that I was worried that I would say the wrong thing, make grammatical mistakes, or have a bad pronunciation. However, when I finished my presentation fluently, there was a round of applause from the stage, and my sisters were amazed at my progress and expressed their compliments one after another.

At that moment, I felt The Joy of Being Recognized for Your EffortsThe

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(pulls back to BBQ venue)

Me (humble)"Really? Thank you. It's only been a month, so I still suck at Japanese! It's only been a month, so I still suck at Japanese and I don't understand a lot of it..."

Strange senior. (SURPRISE)I thought you'd been here for at least six months! I thought you'd been here at least six months... you're fluent!"

Afterwards, we had a very happy chat. We talked about the night market in Taiwan, the 101 building, the beach in Kenting, the scenery in Jiufen... He was full of curiosity and longing for Taiwan.

As he had to go to the professor for a toast, he said to me, slightly drunk, before he left:

Strange senior (slightly inebriated)I'd like to add you to my Facebook page. I'm going to Taiwan, and I'm going to need a lot of help! I've decided to go to Taiwan after reading your introduction."

Me (open heart)"Thank you for chatting with me. Remember to tell me when you come to Taiwan."

Strange student (before leaving)"By the way, here's a tip: the better your Japanese, the prettier your Japanese girlfriend will be."

Before he left, he left these words which had a profound impact on me.

My feelings::

"This conversation has made me realize.Even though there is little communication in class, we are all observing each other in silence.And the relaxed atmosphere of a drinking party allows Japanese people to let themselves go and talk about everything. And the relaxed atmosphere of a drinking party allows Japanese people to open themselves up, talk about things, and build real friendships."

📖 Story 3: The first time I asked for LINE, I was emboldened by alcohol.

As I continued to stand by the grill, preparing skewers for the seniors, a girl stood by.

I'm (politely handing over a skewer)"Want one?"

Girl (smiling)"May I? Thank you."

Girl (initiating conversation)"You're Sato-ken's Zero-kun, aren't you?"

Me (Memory)"Yes, I think you're from Kishiki-ken? I see that you occasionally come to our research lab to see Wada-san and Nakata-san."

Girls (hot)I've been to Taiwan three times and I love it! Your report is great. I've been to Taiwan three times and I love it."

Me.: "This is the first time I've heard someone say they've been to Taiwan, it's wonderful!

Girl (gushing)"I can't get tired of eating Taiwan 101's vibrating balls, the scenery of Jiufen, and the shaved ice at the night market!

GIRL (eyes glowing): "And you like Hayao Miyazaki, right? I heard you say in your report that I like the same thing as you, that I'm a big fan of the Invisible Girl!"

As we chatted, I realized that she was from Kyoto, just like Mr. Murata, so it's no wonder that she spoke with a special sense of intimacy.

Twist: Speaking faster than you can keep up with the conversation.

In the middle of the lesson, I was joined by other students, and I started to lose the conversation because the speed of the Japanese language had doubled. As I was sighing that I needed to improve my Japanese, the other student seemed to realize that I couldn't keep up.

Girls (for other seniors)"I'm going to have a drink first." (That's what's called "せきがえ（せきがえ、中文：换位置）" )

Girl (greeting me)"Zero, come on."

Before I could read the situation, I followed her aside.

A Conversation Between Two People: From Experiments to Hayao Miyazaki

Afterwards, each of us poured a glass of wine and talked about how the experiments were going and so on. As expected, there was no escaping from the topic of the University's internal affairs:

Assignments, Labs, Reports, Seminars

But although the vocabulary was not yet extensive, the I can understand Japanese for professional purposes.I'm sorry, but I'm not sure if I can still talk to you.

What we talked about::

• Progress of experiments, requirements of professors, preparation for seminars
• Differences in Research Environments between Taiwan and Japan
• Miyazaki Hayao's Animation
• Cuisine and Attractions in Taiwan

In a flash, the BBQ will soon come to an end.

Drinking to Strengthen Courage: The First Time in My Life I Asked a Strange Girl for LINE

Me. (Gathering courage)I'll be your tour guide next time you come to Taiwan.

Girls (open): "Really? It's great! I don't have my cell phone, so I'll give you my ID."

Leave me your ID when you're done.

Girl (preparing to leave)"If you can't, come see me in my lab."

After that, she ran back to the lab to write her report.

Come to your senses...

Looking at her back, he snapped back to his senses and suddenly felt so crazy.With the power of alcohol, the first time I asked a strange girl for LINE.!

My feelings::

"It was at that moment that I truly realized why most Japanese people love to drink so much. Alcohol allows introverted Japanese (and me) to let go of our inhibitions and express our true feelings. This experience also helped me to better understand the Japanese social culture."

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💡 BBQ Experience Summary

After a few BBQ meetings, I realized one thing:

"For Japanese people, English shows professional competence, while Japanese is the bridge between the heart and the mind."

After all, human beings choose the language of habit to reveal what they are really thinking. I'm glad I chose to train myself in Japanese, not only did I make new friends, but I also got to know more people in Taiwan.

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VI. CONCLUSION

The BBQ under the cherry blossom tree was one of the most unforgettable experiences of my study abroad life. From being corrected by my seniors on how to use chopsticks, to the repercussions of my first Japanese presentation, to the conversation with friends over drinks, to the courage to go to the LINE over a drink, every moment made me realize that I am a student in Japan. The Unique Charm of Japanese Social CultureThe

I learned from this experience:

✅ Dining etiquette is importantChewing with mouth closed, elbows off the table, bowl up, not helping others with their food
✅ Chopsticks etiquette: Avoid the 17 forbidden chopsticks, especially the "Buddha Chopsticks" and "Chopsticks to Chopsticks"!
✅ Drinking is the key to socializingAlcohol makes the Japanese drop their inhibitions and speak from the heart.
✅ Japanese is a bridge of the heartEnglish for Professionalism, Japanese for Friendship
✅ It's important to try.: Even if your Japanese is not good, you should be brave enough to communicate in Japanese.

If you are going to study in Japan, I highly recommend it:

Attend more social events such as cocktail parties and BBQs!

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Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) for Readers

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Related Resources

• Art Culture and History Stick Mana and Tubes (Smoking Sticks)
• Know the art of Mana! The way to set up your artwork
• The child's elbow is straightened out during the meal! Unexpected Reasons and Countermeasures
• Do you have any questions regarding the atmosphere of the Mana at the food table?
• Chewing sound is not a funk! Tone on Tatakunai no funk?

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Read Next

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Or go back to the EP1 catalog for a different story?

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